I grew up in the era of Sears and JC Penny catalogues when the whole family eagerly awaited the arrival of the Wish Book each Christmas. We spent hours looking at the latest toys and fashions, furniture and tools. However, all that early exposure to the wonders of paper "window shopping" has turned me into a catalogue slut.
I confess I can't toss away those junk mailed brochures that fill my mailbox throughout the year. I never buy anything -- I save that for eBay -- but I love to look! Whether it's L.L. Bean, Chadwicks, Toys 'R' Us, Oriental Trading Company, The Inflight Shop or any company, I simply can't resist a little BBT (Browse Before Tossing).
Recently, I've been closing up my Mom's apartment. She had to go to a nursing home after her stroke in July, so the packing has fallen to my sister and me. While I was emptying her magazine basket, I stumbled upon a cache of her catalogues. They ran the gamut of things to appeal to seniors - Blair (she loves those stitched-crease double knit pants), Dr. Leonard, Fingerhut, a handful of vitamin company offerings, and a modest size catalogue called Healthy Living. The catalogue slut in me shoved them in my tote to BBT later when I had time.
Tonight, I found them in my tote and decided to browse the Healthy Living catalogue. The offerings were somewhat amusing. Vitamins, hair restoratives, spray-on hair, a sling-like device to prevent double chins, bunion cushions, hearing aid devices, etc. Everything geared to either assist or rejuvenate. However, my jaw dropped when I flipped from a page that advertised incontinence pads and bedside commodes to the next page.
There in living color was a 4-page spread of sex aids!
I kid you not. It was amazing! A double headed vibrator called the G-Quake massager (oh my god), potency drops, sex tapes (Oh My god!), massage cream to "increase firmness, fullness, and size (OH My God!), a remote controlled egg shaped device guaranteed to "give you Earth-Shattering Tremors" (OH MY GOD!)!
While I didn't discover any "purchases" among her belongings, I had to wonder why Mom not only kept the catalogue but had also marked the page. Now, I'm not sure if I should be appalled or if I should say "Way to go, Mom!"
I guess I'll think about that one later.
Wow, I just realized, it's been a month today since I last posted on here. I'm not going to make a lot of excuses, suffice it to say I spent my Christmas vacation -- almost two full weeks -- laid up with a sinus infection and cluster headaches. I've been playing catch up ever since.
However, when I saw the date of my last posting, I thought of one of my favorite quotations:
"Time's fun when you're having flies." Kermit the Frog!
Okay, enough silliness. Or maybe not enough. So I'll post my -- trumpet roll, please -- New Year's resolutions to give you more chuckles. Here goes!
My List of Resolutions:
1 - Start on a healthier eating plan - I refuse to say diet as that word implies something of shorter duration. I need to make Veggies, Milk, and Whole Grains part of a permanent solution.
2- Add more "Activity" to my daily plan -- Funny how typing on a computer 6 hours min at work and several more hours at home in the evenings doesn't burn calories. It's high stress but unfortunately low aerobic.
3- Work on my writing, EVERY day. I'm not going to set outrageous goals. I'm just going to promise that, every day, I'll work 15 minutes or 100 words, whichever comes LAST.
4- Find time for fun with friends. All work and no play makes me a grouchy isolationist. I need to socialize more.
5- Take time each day for meditation, prayer, contemplation, whatever you want to call it.
6- Get in bed by midnight -- I ain't as young as I used to be. Staying up until 2a.m. then getting up for work at 6:30 a.m. takes more of a toll these days.
7- Really clean my home office once a month. It will improve concentration.
8- And another practical promise, hang up or put away my laundry as soon as it's out of the dryer.
Well, there's probably a lot of others I should do, but this is the beginning.
Have a good day!
~~ Stephanie